I have been on probation for a marijuana related felony for two and a half years now, with my actual arrest being three years ago. Let me tell you people something, despite what you might of heard, being a felon on probation sucks. It really sucks. No joke here, brahs.
One of the most rewarding parts of my probation experience is that I have had to urinate in a cup while my PO’s arm is hanging in the door numerous times. Recently it seems that I may be saved from this embarrassing ritual for the final five months of my probation, as I got a new PO in February who told me, “You haven’t been drug tested in a while, but eww I hate doing drug tests.” Hey, no arguments here, Miss. Another bonus of drug testing is that the amount of weed I can smoke is limited due to how long it can linger in your system (fat cells…). Of course, other drugs do not stay nearly as long in your system, so while I have abstained from smoking marijuana for months, I have gone for months totally doped up off my ass on a variety of painkillers. I’m talking buying a bottle of Methadone and keeping it under my bed, Anna Nicole style, so I have a reason to wake up in the morning. Very easy to conceal from probation as I have the ability to play it safe and cut if off five days to a week before I go in to report.
I’m not trying to pretend probation is worse then jail, however. Jail REALLY sucks. It sucks so much that if I was there now I would not be able to blog about how much jail sucks. So then what exactly am I whining about? The consequences of my behavior perhaps? I guess so, and you can expect a lot more of that in my blog, so I hope that kinda thing strikes a chord with the blog reading public. Anyway, I will continue to let self-righteousness permeate throughout my tone while discussing this subject as Jesus Christ after all it’s a weed charge, I didn’t molest any kids for Christ’s sake.
The real lesson for you readers is to think out the consequences of your actions. No matter how bogus a set of laws might seem to you, this is America, not Canada, and they will not hesitate to enforce those laws if you give them half a chance. So please people, give every illegal action you take in life at least a minute of thought. With all this in mind here is something that you should all be familiar with, but which is always good to review. If you are not familiar with it then get to reading. If anyone else has some experiences with the law let me know.